3 YEARS LATER

It's been a long time since I added anything in here. my life has taken such a down ward turn...on Feb. 20, 2010 my 'best friend' Dawn King emptied my bank account leaving me broke and destitute. I had just started a new job and lost it because I missed too many days. I wanted to be home so if Dawn came back with my money I would be there. she never came back with any money because I called her PO and had her arrested and sent back to prison. She blamed me for the rest of her life..how does someone do that? Rip someone off then make themselves "The victim". That was in 2009..it is now August 2013 and I live with a monster named Alice Jaggers. I met her while living on Wetmore. after dawn ripped me off i had to leave my apartment..so I moved in with this troll named Alice...fast forward 4 years...oh god. I can't begin to describe her accurately. she lives in bed. Smokes and collects pets and watches tv. She brought this new puppy to live with her and it hasnt' been allowed to leave her room. the dog is going mad. spinning around, foaming at the mouth, biting itself...it is heart breaking to watch and no one can do anything. As long as it has food,water and a roof over its head it is considered "safe"..oh if only 'they' knew..this poor dog is shitting and peeing anywhere it wants..no potty training took place...the woman who owns this dog is crazy..talks to herself, makes up the most stupid thing...she is a 'logic vaccum'..if you come anywhere near her with any logic she sucks it out of the room. She makes up so many lies..saying she was 'the first female mechanic in california'. she 'owned a carpet business"..she 'owned a dog grooming business" ..she 'owned a clothign business"..she 'is an electrician"..she can 'lay carpet'..she can 'work on cars" and yet she has never done any of those things..she was 'gonna' do so many things but cant get out of bed to do any of them. I have become her slave, her endentured servant..i do everything for her and she lays in bed and hands out money. I do the work and some other dude gets paid for it. I cant get my license through COPES becasue of ..oh god it's too long to tell..bottom line, i am her slave and i get room and board for it but i earn far more than room and board so I pay myself..leave that to your imagination..suffice it to say i have been well paid. ok moving on..i hate my life. I hate myself. I hate alice and I hate everything...film at 11

February 24, 2011

My it has been a long time since writing in this. I have been to hell and back since our last writing. Long story short, my 'friend' I had allowed to live with me for free, emptied my bank account, leaving me homeless, jobless, hopeless and friendless. That Dawn King could do such a thing to me shows me how naive I was about her and what her real life was all about. She lied, conived, stole, cheated and destroyed our friendship in the pursuit of drugs....I called her PO and she went back to prison but was eventually released...came home and started telling everyone it was my fault...that she did nothign wrong, that she was an innocent person...oh i cant do this...too much pain involved.
susan

Good Bye

Well, I dont' know if anyone notices this or not, but I have not added anything to my blog in over a couple weeks. I have had a very horrible negative even occur due to this blog that I figured not writing it would help solve thta problem. I know it is 'giving up' and letting that mother trucker who tried to ruin my job 'win'...but that isn't it. I just don't really have the time or the need to have a blog. My hopes were for a positive experience for myself and those who read it. I did have that reaction, but I never in a million years imagined that some random stranger/xfriend would take the opportunity to try to ruin my life.
Those negative, cowardly comments were just the beginning of what that horrid monster did to me. Calling my job, making up stories about my using drugs with 'their son' and telling my boss I was on methadone really upset me and those who love me. I have a very strong idea as to who it is that did that and my lawyer said there is really nothing I can do as of this point in time. Unfortunately, being a rotten mean spirited person is not against the law. People are free to be who they wish to be and if they choose to spend their time hurting other hard working, good,kind people than that is their perogative. However, it is also my perogative to close this blog and start a new one somewhere else and at another time.

to all who did follow and enjoy this blog, thank you. TO those of you who took this as an opportunity to hurt me, your 'reward' will come later. karma is a very serious, veyr real entity.....I don't have to lay one hand on you. You have sowed your seeds and you will reap your rewards from that negative effort.

Good Bye.....and remember
Gorgeous the Life
Susan

As Others See It

These are a few of the reponses I received after I sent out a blanket email to all my friends, telling them about what is going on with my stalker.

Hi, Susan
That is absolutely disgusting that someone would be trying so hard to screw you that way, not to say just downright chickenshit to do it anonymously. Rest assured that it isn't me. There are certainly people in this world that I don't much care for, my asshole older brother for one, but I would NEVER do anything to cause him trouble on his job, even if I knew him to be a child molester (which he most assuredly is not) and he worked in a daycare center I wouldn't call his employer. Whoever is doing this is so low that they have to look up to see the underbelly of a snake.

I don't forward E-mails as a rule and I have never forwarded one of yours or even given anyone the link to your blog. I think you are a courageous woman doing what you have done and considering the trials and hardships that you have endured throughout your life. You don't need anyone throwing more rusty nails and broken glass in your path.
You know that I am always your friend.

Joel

Susie Que-I am soooo sorry that someone is being such a SHIT! They obviously have nothing better to do. Hopefully you will be able to find out who this awful person is and stop them from being so cruel. Hang in there. I love you and I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HAVE WORKED TO GET YOUSELF BACK TO LIFE!!
Hugs

Laura

Dearest Susan,
Please tell me you haven't lost your job!?You must feel so low. I am so sorry to hear about this drama in your life. No, I wouldn't deliberately hurst anyone, especially you. I am so proud of you! Can you close your blog down so no one can continue leaving their cowardly comments? I love you! Kari

My dear friend:
I would never do that to you - or anyone. I know you don't suspect me. I am VERY proud of the "tribulations" [a HUGE understatement in my feeble opinion] that you have overcome, Susan.
I have only been on your blog once, and decided I would rather just use e-mail. Never went back in. You and I get along well with this forum - and the rest of the bloggers can just go f**k themselves.
I fully empathize - to the extent possible. I've never been in your current situation. I have only one word for whomever is behind this:COWARD.
Going to the police can't hurt, probably be a "low" priority. They'll probably suggest you "unplug" your blog.I'm so sorry this is happening to you, Susan.
You are a SHINING example of resilience, perseverance, and tenacity. I am ignorant when it comes to drug abuse, but I can say I suspect you are in a huge MINORITY of people who overcome what you have - and made something of yourself.
I hope the harrassment and threats stop.
Bless you.
Love,
Ron

Hang in there. This person is an asshole and I know you know it. Just keep being you! Hugs

Laura

It feels so good to know that I have good people in my life that care enough about me to write such amazing things about me. My stalkers feelings seem to stem from a resentment towards Methadone...that seems to be what pisses them off the most. I was able to get my life back on track by using this amazing drug....did they not have a positive experience with it? Apparantly not. There are many (thousands in fact) of counselors using methadone. Not just drug and alcohol counselors at that, marriage counselors, financial counselors, mental health counselors...the list is long. Methadone users are covered under the American Disabilities Act just like any other person with a disease that needs a drug to help them. This person made a complete fool of themselves when they called my boss because he understands this and after he hung up the phone, he turned to me and said, "Some are always going to be sicker than others." He told the stalker, "Thanks for giving me all this useless information that I can do nothing with". I Hope that just chapped their ass. What happens next is up to them, and how I react to it is up to me.

I have another follower named 'Thingy' who has posted some very positive comments on my blog and I thought that was very kind.

It is a beautiful Sunday morning, the sun is shining and I feel great. I just received word yesterday that one of the clinics I had sent my resume to wants to meet with me. I had started out my venture in becoming a CDP to work with woman in prison....I may have my chance...not only to go to work in corrections, but to relocate as well. This job is in another state...one I would LOVE to move to....stay tuned.

One good thing about being an intern is that I get to go places and try on different jobs in my quest to find out where I want to settle in. I made a mistake in posting where I work in here so stalker bitch was able to contact my employers. Options isn't the end of my journey, it is only the beginning. I will be much more careful about what I post. I never in a million years thought that starting a blog would almost cost me a job....good thing it didn't, but I have been taught a tough lesson. That being that the world is full of haters and the best revenge in life is to live well. To you my stalker, get a life of your own, that way trying to disrupt another person's life won't be so entertaining.
Peace Outty

Later That Day

I have been renting out too much free space in my head to my new hater. I need to pull back in my energy and let what is going to happen, happen. I am a firm believer in karma. What you give in life, so you shall receive. I have made my amends to those I hurt in my addiction. Those two people are now dead. I owe no one else anything. I owe myself a chance to be happy and to continue searching for what ever it is that will bring that to me.

I am not sure of this counseling gig. I am not a very confrontative person and I don't like thinking everyone is lying to me, even though most of them are. Every person that sits down in front of me for an evaluation is going to be saying what they think I want to hear them say....even though they have no idea what it is that I am looking for them to say to me. I just want them to be honest so that they can receive the help they need. Not every person that walks in there is an addict in need of treatment...however, having said that, I have yet to see someone walk in there that wasn't told they need to receive treatment and at a very high cost.(time wise, commitment wise and of course dollar wise)

I have a friend who when she was given her assessment, as soon as they saw that she had 'the blue folder' her diagnosis rose significantly...meaning when they saw she had Boeing medical insurance....so they gave her a Boeing diagnosis...meaning the most expensive treatment available. There is another facility named Lakeside Milam that gives free evaluations but that is because they put everyone in treatment, regardless of whether they really need it or not. Most places charge anywhere from $95 to $135 for an evaluation. What Milam is doing is so wrong. Where most places consider someone addiction free until after they complete their diagnosis...Lakeside Milam looks at everyone walking in their doors a person in need of treatment, whether they need it or not...they will be given a diagnosis of addiction regardless of it that is true or not. I went through an evaluation at Lakeside and immediately felt uncomfortable the way the man looked at me and talked to me. He had my diagnosis ready even before he got my UA back or any of my collateral information. Where I work and at most places, we wait until we have all the information in our possession before we make our determination. All information meaning criminal history, driving history, UA results, and any and all information that will help us to provide a very accurate diagnosis.

I know this is boring....I find it boring myself. Which leads me to this conclusion....is this really what I want to be doing for the rest of my life? What I really want is for someone to find me, date me, fall in love with me and ask me to spend the rest of my life with him so he can take care of me in the manner to which I long to become accustomed. That's what I really want to do. I worked very hard in college to get good grades so that where ever I worked, I would do a good job. As it turns out, nothign I have learned in college has helped me in this field one single bit. I am doing things that were NEVER covered in school. I didn't learn one single thing that helps me in my field, which makes me wonder what the hell do they make us go to school for in the first place? This is definately a job that needs on the job training and nothing in school is going to come close to fulfilling those requirements. I am angry at how much money I spent to go to school, only to find none of it did me one bit of good and most of it was so outdated and false. Really, those few classes that did address issues we would face in the field, were far and few between.....oh gosh I am so upset now. The more I think about this, the most upset I become.

The Day After

Hello friends and enemy. I have not begun to embrace this dark entity into my life as if I had cancer. People deal with horrible parasitic tumors all the time and they still continue to live and enjoy their life. I work with two people undergoing serious cancer treatment. My boss is undergoing radiation for her cancer that reappeared and moved from her now two removed breasts to her lymph system. She leaves work for radiation then comes back. My other supervisor is going through chemo therapy for Hep C. He is so sick from his treatments. One boss is very quiet and doesn't say a word about her discomfort...the other one...well, suffice it to say he enjoys attention so he mentions how sick and uncomfortable he is to every person he passes by. It is almost annoying...but I don't say anything. As one very wise and sage person once told me...just smile and file. I do alot of that at work. I am having a really hard time trying to figure out if I want to stay at this one place or go pursue other options.....I will consider my work here as training and that leaves many things open to me.
This person who is trying to ruin me knows where I work because I stupidly put it in my profile. I thought I had been very careful not to put where i worked out there, but I did and now I am having to deal with their sick shit. It's all good. I have a detective working on it. He was a family friend and even though no real crime has been committed, this is enough to get our friend on the job. We are going to get the phone records from my job and find out the number that call came from and take it from there.
I hope this will put a scare into who ever is going this to me. I really am prepared to go to the wall fighting back on this one. NO one is going to jepordize my livelyhood over some personal problem they may be having with me.
To not be able to show themselves and to hide behind the word "Anonymous" shows them to be very cowardly. If they really were a human being with courge and pride, they would have no problem coming out into the open and dealing with me that way. Oh well...it is what it is and I will continue on enjoying my sucesses.

Someone Out There is Trying to Ruin My Life

Hello friends, fans and enemy mine. How are you? Someone out there is trying to ruin my life and this is how. Someone called my job using the name "Annonymous" and told my co-worker that I was a drug addict who was using with her son. It was also said that I am using methadone and that this person was tryin to do 'the right thing by letting my boss know this".

Who ever is doing this is the same person who made all those negative comments about me in here (my blog). I have sent an email to all my friends because someone knows someone who knows someone who is trying to ruin me, and it is through the link in my emails that people are able to access this blog.

I am going to put out a plea to this 'annonymous' person. Why are you trying to do this to me? I have no enemies that I am aware of. I have not killed anyone, I have never stolen someone's boyfriend or husband. I have not done anything to anyone that would cause them to want to destroy the one good thing I have going for me. Annonymous...I have worked very hard to get my life back in order. I have literally crawled through blood, sweat and tears to put the shattered pieces of my life back into something resembling an existence worth fighting for and that is what I am prepared to do....fight. With every ounce of energy I have, I am going to find out who you are to ask you in person why you want to take this life I have forged, away from me?

What have I ever done to you to cause this type of rage and angst? What is wrong with you? Do you have a lonely life and feel that I have caused this to happen? Did I look to nice one day and cause you to feel jealous or envious? I understand that. I have felt jealous and I have felt envious of someone but not so much that I wanted to destroy their life. Calling my boss and making up such a horrendous story was so cruel, I can't wrap my head around wanting to do something like that to someone who had never done anything to me.

Do you know me? Have we met? Did we talk? Did I think you were my friend and open up my heart to you? Do you know anything about my childhood or my life growing up with no mother and no father emotionally available to me due to alcohol? Did you know that I have almost died several times due to my drug use but for some reason, God didn't want me yet and put me back to finish my job down here. Did you know any of that??

Do you know how much I love animals and how many hours I have donated to working as a volunteer at Sarvey Wildlife Center or at the Humane Society? Do you know that I love, feel, cry, eat, sleep and pray like any other person? Do you know how much I love and care for my friends and how fiercly loyal I am to them? Do you not have friends and are you jealous of my having some?

WHy do you want to cost me my job? I don't use drugs with anyone, let alone 'your son'.....what caused you to say such a thing? Did something bad happen to you on methadone so you feel you need to lash out at all who had a successful experience from it? Methadone saved my life. It made staying off of drugs and alcohol possible. I had never been able to stop using drugs before Methadone entered my life. It is legal, it is inexpensive (compared to heroin) and it saved me from having to put needles filled with toxic poison into my body. Why do you have such a problem with that? Were you kicked off the program for some reason and you blame me? I never got anyone in trouble at my clinics....I never have done anything to anyone that should make them wish to retaliate in this manner so I am going to appeal to your heart (if you indeed have one).

Please annonymous, please allow me to keep my new life. Please stop attacking me from this dark space you are in. I am begging you to have a heart and try to put yourself in my shoes. I have no one. I have no relatives, no mom or dad to talk to or comfort me in my times of need. I have no real friends to speak of that can do anything for me. I am really all alone on this earth and now I have a really great chance of having a career and you are trying to rip this from me and not only that, but you don't have enough courage to come out of the shadows and show yourself. Why? If I were this mad at someone...I would want them to know how I felt. I would want to have closure and fix what ever it was that was broken. I am 51 years old and I deserve the chance to have happiness....and you are trying to take it all away from me.

Who are you and what have I done to make you wish to cause me this much pain.....