So Many Changes in My Life's Time

There is a song by John Denver that I love. I was such a John Denver fan that in 1975 when he played at the Cow Palace in San Francisco, my father drove all the way from the Bay Area to pick me up in Sacramento (about a 90 mile drive)then he turned around and drove me back to the Bay Area to the venu. I got out and went into that place and was just floored at how many people were there. I got into my little seat. It was in a corner, right next to the stairs, where they rows whittle down to just one seat, I can't explain it. Anyways, I sat there with my mouth open and my eyes bugging out just astounded at the sounds and his video screen behind him so that when he played his songs, beautiful pictures were shown behind him. My daddy slept in his car out in the parking lot. I was going to stay the night with him at his house but he decided to drive me back home to Sacramento instead. I would later find out that his wife didn't want me in their house. Yeah...I know...but he did what he could to see to it that I had a very memorable experience. I bought and paid for my tickets all by myself. I called the ticket place and found out where to go which was Tower Records (where all concert tickets were sold) and I found my way up there. My mother was too drunk at the time to help me. I was already living on my own in my apartment....so asking her for helping with anything was just a waste of time. She would have found some way to make what I wanted to do, dirty and evil sounding. For what ever reason it was, my mother thought of me as being some kind of trollop in school. I graduated a virgin for god's sake. When I was nominated for Junior Class Princess and ran into her room to share the good news with her. She was in 'her spot' which was lying in bed with the phone between her legs and a pitcher of ice water and a bottle of vodka on her nightstand, within reach. I told her what happened and she looked at me and said these words which I will never forget as long as I live. She said, "You're such a whore, of course they voted for you." I was just too stunned to move or reply. I turned and walked out of there as fast as I could. I closed her door and went into my old room and closed the door. I stood in front of my full length mirror on the back of my bedroom door and looked at myself and just strted to cry. How on earth could she say such a thing to me? She didn't even really know me or who I was at school. Who my friends were or what they thought of me. None of that was important to her and yet she could make such a statement to and about me? I just sucked it up and want on about my afternoon like I always did...
I turned on my tape recorder and listened to a song called'Poems Prayers and Promises" that goes like this:

I’ve been lately thinking
About my life’s time
All the things I’ve done
And how it’s been
And I can’t help believing
In my own mind
I know I’m gonna hate to see it end

I’ve seen a lot of sunshine
Slept out in the rain
Spent a night or two all on my own
I’ve known my lady’s pleasures
Had myself some friends
And spent a night or two in my own home

And I have to say it now
It’s been a good life all in all
It’s really fine
To have a chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it’s been since yesterday
And what about tomorrow
And what about our dreams
And all the memories we share

The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when it’s cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old
For though my life’s been good to me
There’s still so much to do
So many things my mind has never known
I’d like to raise a family
I’d like to sail away
And dance across the mountains on the moon

I have to say it now
It’s been a good life all in all
It’s really fine
To have the chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and watch the sun go down

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it’s been since yesterday
What about tomorrow
What about our dreams
And all the memories we share

Isn't that just beautiful? It makes me smile when I hear those words. I had a tape of John, it was "An Evening With John Denver" and I played that thing until there wsa no tape left. There were so many of his greatest hits on there. I had a connection with John, my first guitar was named "John". His music was the background music of my life after I left my mom's house and became emancipated and had my own apartment. It was a big secret. I didn't tell many of my friends at school because I was embarrased and didn't want them to know that I didn't have a family like they did. I had no mother or father to come home to and talk about my day, or to show my report cards to or have help me with my homework. Nope...I lived on my own from the age of 16 until I moved in with my father during the last half of my senior year (which was one huge mistake) Going back to living with someone telling you what to do, after you have been living on your own for 2 years was very hard to do.