I wish I could be a handy man. I wish I knew how to paint, cut wood, hammer nails and measure stuff.......hey......wait a minute......I CAN DO THOSE THINGS. How come I can't build/repair/create stuff and get on that show "Extreme Makeover for Houses"? Shit.

Well, I wish I could play guitar and piano and sing and dance really well and wasn’t afraid to perform in front of people, then I could be on ‘Americas Got Talent” and win millions of dollars and have my own Vegas act........hey.....wait a sec......I CAN do those things......how come I'm not getting paid for it? sheeeeeittt.

Well, at least I don't have to worry about how come I can't dance really well and am over weight, or I could be on that new reality show ‘Dance your ass off”.......HEY, WAIT ONE FUCKING SECOND......I CAN dance and I am over weight......how come I didn’t hear about the auditions?

Well...good thing I was never taught how to groom a dog really well to AKC standards,from my father. Then I could go on that show 'Groomer Has It" and win $50.000 and a new mobile pet grooming bus and go into the pet grooming business for myself....wait one god damned second...I CAN DO THAT...I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT ALL MY LIFE. I can even clip a poodle to show standards. Crap...why aren't I doing tht for a living?

Well......the one think I know for sure I can't do is cook really well, like professionally trained people can. That's one thing for sure I don't have to wor......oh no......wait......I am having a memory.......oh fuck.....I CAN DO THAT, I WAS TRAINED PROFESSIONALLY AT CULINARY SCHOOL AND I CAN COOK BETTER THAN ANYONE I KNOW.

Fuck!! Why can't I be on any of those shows WHERE YOU win money for doing things better than other people?

Well, it gives me great relief to know that at least I went to college to learn how to talk to people who are upset because they got one DUI one time and now must pay tens of thousands of dollars to keep from getting it on their driving records by going to Intensive Outpatient Treatment......I can sit with them for hours on end and tell them why they are in denial and how they really do have a problem, they just don't know it yet but if they go to enough AA meetings, they will believe it......yeah, that’s what I am going to do. I'll have them get slips signed that can never be verified......and write down negative remarks about them not accepting the truth about their "Disease" if after those 2 years they still don't think they are an alcoholic.....making the judge think they are still very much in denial and that they need more thousand dollar treatment......yeah, that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life.
Sure glad I decided to go to college to get my degree to help people. Do I sound bitter? I am. I have had a real piece of reality pie showing me what this 'treatment' people are getting is all about. MONEY. Plain and simple. Oh well...it's better than shooting heroin...right?